Where do they put emotional pariahs/heretics?
Is there an island for those who disbelieve in closure?
Does the island have a shrine to honor memory?
Can we go there without apology to cry and feel despair?
Or, do we have to feel better as we do on the mainland?
Can others tolerate our grief?
Is it for them that we must recover?
Are they so uncomfortable with our sadness?
Does it provoke emotional intimacy which frightens?
Does it remind them of their vulnerability to despair?
Or, is it simply that it demands caring for another?
Where is compassion?
Only among those who know the grief?
Can’t we listen to another’s pain without recoiling and
changing the subject?
What is the fear?
Do we disappear if we give too much?
Why should grief be a secret?
Why is sorrow shamed?
We in grief live with the daily loneliness
without the gritty connection to our other.
The connection where truth lives, not every moment,
but free to be uttered when needed.
There is the double loneliness after the death,
The missing of the presence and the isolation of feigning.
Who knows how another is doing?
We see and hear what makes us comfortable.
We are repelled by despair and we recoil,
leaving the griever alone emotionally and physically.
"Enough," we say.
"We don't want to hear any more.
You should be better by now.
Your sadness is a burden. Go away until you feel better."