These are interrelated emotions. Anger is often fear-based.
An infant cries with fear when the "significant other," the nurturer, is out of sight. The cry is one of terror, as there is a primal fear of extinction. In the case of the infant, the emotional reality is accurate: the need for the nurturer is vital.
When our "other" vanishes, the same terror returns. We become scared in a way that is hard to describe because it is so primal. We can no longer find the person who nurtured us, who gave us a sense of home. We feel alone in a way that is hard to describe to people who tell us to get out and be with others. It is not the others that we need as much as we need to look across the room and see our own person. It's not that we have to talk with him, but that we are missing the presence of our mate that gave us the feeling of safety—a home, a protector, a partner.
The fear that comes from the lack of a base can often erupt in anger. "Where are you . . . Why did you leave me?" These questions reach back to your deepest intact fears, they are not based on an intellectual comprehension of death, but on feelings of abandonment. You may wake up feeling an unaccountable terror in the night or in the morning that comes from this perceived abandonment.
These feelings are powerful, normal, natural, and appropriate.
Read on: Aimlessness